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poor baby!   
10:58am 22/04/2010
  poor poor neglected livejournal. so here is a post for you. im now a finalist for the aforementioned journey prize, which means out of the 80 stories nominated this year, im in the top 10 or so. and i get to be in this:

holy doodle!

comes out nation-wide sept 28, 2010.

ill find out if i won this fall.

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Truth No. 23435   
06:49pm 16/10/2009
  Holy fuck, I'm losing my string. It's like a metaphor for everything.  
Happiness is . . .   
06:01pm 30/08/2009
  . . . cats attacking a golf ball.

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06:37pm 23/08/2009
  I just smashed my writing desk of 5+ years to bits. Godspeed, old friend. May you find peace in the great scrapyard in the sky.  
On Writing as a Career   
07:50pm 21/08/2009
  It's probably good that the film thing hasn't panned out cuz (ready? ready?) I just scored an internship at (ready?) a literary agency. A good one. The dude who discovered Vincent Lam (Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures) and represents the chick who did the wicked Skim graphic novel. And so on. His client list is uber impressed. I will break down how this came about.

Scene One: Andrew at work, freaking out about future.

Andrew (internal monologue): Fuck this worrying shit. I'm going to do something proactive.

[begins sending emails to production companies, editors, ad agencies, and literary agencies; gets responses from two, a magazine and a literary agency]

Agent [via email]: Let's meet for coffee. Bring some writing.

Scene Two: Andrew's washroom

[Andrew, nearly vomiting from excitement]

Scene Three: Coffee place, convenient located close to new apartment and, we later learn, the literary agency.

[Andrew orders tea, fiddles nervously with pen]

Agent: Hi.

Andrew: Hi.

[They begin discussing a variety of cool shit; agent asks Andrew to talk about himself; Andrew does so]

Agent: Cool, well, did you bring writing?

[Andrew hands writing over, waits while agent reads ALL OF IT]

Agent: You're good. I can see why you're getting published.

[Andrew wets himself; agent says he usually does three month internships, but he thinks it might be cool if I stick around longer]

Agent: So what kind of writing are you working on right now?

Andrew: Uh, my thesis is going to be a novel.

Agent: Hang around and I'll show you how to write a novel.

[Agent tells Andrew about a workshop he runs Saturdays, among the attendees writers he's considering signing; says Andrew should come]

Agent: Have you ever seen Californication?

[Conversation devolves into talk of Hank Moody, labia, pregnancy scares, and how the agency is, as he put it, "into some crazy shit you're going to love."]

Agent: So I'm in New York next week. When I get back I'll introduce you to everyone and hook you up with this manuscript we're editing to send out.


This, friends, is what we call outrageous fortune, EXACTLY the kind of thing you dream of happening when you do a creative writing program. I've always concentrated on the craft itself. I think you have to, no matter what art form you're pursuing.

I never thought about publishing until I felt like I had a grasp of the basics, and even then, I only sent stuff to ezines, non paying places. I took things slow, not getting ahead of myself. I didn't try to run when I could barely crawl. Agents were always something for later. Right now, I thought, let's get the craft down. Worry about that stuff later.

Then, in Spring, my creative writing prof told me about an agent looking for new clients who asked him if he had anyone in the program who looked promising. He said he thought of me, which made me lose my shit. I took it as a sign that maybe it's time to turn the heat up a centigrade or seven.

On the advice of an editor from Harper Collins, I started doing whatever I could to get my name out. Book reviews, articles, whatever. I'm applying for the next available Toronto Arts Council Grant. I'm writing a novel and it's not just an exercise. Somehow I've accumulated enough publication credits, editorial work, and contacts that I can query places and not look like a fucking idiot. Places like literary agencies for internships.

Somehow things got serious and I guess all that's left to do is close my eyes, dive, and pray there's not some craggy pointy rocky shit under the waves.
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09:44pm 05/08/2009
  today i had an interview for an internship at a film company. dunno when i find out if i got it, but the plan is to get my foot in the door, kick it open as wide as possible, hopefully getting a full time job there by this time next year. you ever have those moments where youre like, well, i honestly did the best i could, if i had to do it again, i couldnt possibly have improved upon how i did? thats kind of how the interview went. it wasnt tense, we had good rapport. now i just wait to see if they have space for me. its weird, this feeling. kind of freeing.

also, event magazine, its been a long fucking time. please get back to me.
09:11pm 20/07/2009
  [cross-posted @ caughtwithstring.blogspot.com]

Doing a bit of research for the eco-friendly sex toy article I'm working on and want to state for the record that dildos have a long, illustrious (and illustrated) history. Like this antique vibrating chair, manufactured by (I shit you not) Kellogg of cereal fame. Well. Have fun eating your Corn Flakes tomorrow morning.

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05:38pm 15/07/2009
  for some reason the bosses announced that i was employee of the day, even though such a title doesnt exist and i dont do very much work. in the last two weeks two people have been fired and one person has quit. dont know whats going on here, but ill take it.  
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08:30pm 08/06/2009
  well, apparently im already eligible for a toronto arts council grant. go figure.  
07:59pm 07/06/2009
  i wanna go to the east coast. lets go in september.  
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08:55pm 27/05/2009
  Oysters are cool. Starfish are bastards. Fyi.  
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addendum addendum   
08:30pm 15/05/2009
  remember a few weeks ago, when i mentioned making my first non fiction pitch? dude got back to me and i *officially* have my first assignment. fifty bucks for 250 words. bank it, yo.  
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06:10am 15/05/2009
  Howdy all. The issue of Existere, which I'm told has my story "Leap" in it, hits shelves at the end of next week. It's pretty. Peep this:

Summer Reading   
10:06pm 12/05/2009
  Here's a list of books I want to read by September...

1. On Beauty by Zadie Smith
2. The Russian Debutante's Handbook by Gary Shteyngart
3. The Brothers Karamazov by Fydor Dostoevsky
4. The Way the Crow Flies by Ann Marie MacDonald
5. Falling Angels by Barbara Gowdy
6. Oven Man by Jeff Parker

Weird Inspiration   
08:57pm 04/05/2009
  The other day I was walking past a used book bin on the side of the street. I stopped to take a peek, as I'm wont to do. The result was this crazy huge book on the science (science!) of practical hand reading. Amazing! I've decided it's fate and I'm going to incorporate it somehow.

Also purchased for hella cheap was the screenplay from Pulp Fiction and A Choice of Enemies by Mordecai Richler, which is older and sort of weak but it's one of the only novels of his I haven't read and I love Mordy and it's alright.
My time   
09:04am 03/05/2009
  I had a rough day at work yesterday. Here's what I need: tips for leaving work at work and not becoming depressed in my downtime. I'm serious. This is a life-skill I need to hone. Help?  
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Another literection.   
08:53pm 27/04/2009
  I still get the willies every time I slide a story into an envelope, seal it, stick on some stamps, and hope for the best. Godspeed, little fella.  
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08:41pm 21/04/2009
  I think maybe I should get myself a website for my nascent writing career. Just to let the world know I'm there...?  
07:55pm 21/04/2009
  Tomorrow I start work at this tourism place! And thus Andrew enters the real world for the summer. Brightside? He's got an OGS and it's looking like he might have the chutzpah to kicks the shit out of his student loans.  
North Bay   
12:39am 18/04/2009
  I've been in North Bay, trying to relax. At first I didn't know if it was a good idea to come here or not. I'm glad I did. Family rulz. Also rulz:

- Getting a job (the pay's not great, but it's in an office and it's going to be laid back, full time, starting soon)
- Getting OGS (living to fight another day, fuckerz)
- Not being so bleak about the future.
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